Small boat and Wayne

This week has been really hard, work-wise. I've been waiting since April for the small-boat project work to get turned on. I've been really excited about it and each week have been waiting for it. Really, we've been waiting for two years for it, and in a way have been waiting since we first demoed the idea in 2008. Anyways, the project has been what I've really wanted to do. Its fun, interesting, gets me out of the office, and would allow me to lead a project and fulfill many career goals. I've had a lot built on this project, personally and professionally. So, on Wednesday, I found out that it was cancelled completely. I'm not exactly sure what happened, but it was hard to believe. I feel like it sort of sent me into some form of shock the last couple days. This project was such a given and such a light for me in the midst of a gloomy work forecast. And now it was suddenly gone. I really didn't know what to do. I have had nothing else in my future except for this. Wednesday, Thursday, and most of Friday I was just in a spiral of depression concerning this. I didn't want to take it to God or anybody. I just wanted to let it stew and keep me down; to wallow in the misery of it for awhile.
God in his mercy allowed me to finish up Wayne's computer on Thursday night and then Friday afternoon, we went over there and I set it all up for him. Later at night, Wayne & I were sitting out on the back deck talking.  I had this huge weight of this project on my heart, but didn't want to let it go. But, eventually it had to come up- I think God saw to that. I bombarded Wayne with all this emotional information and depression and he took it all in. Then, rather than just agreeing with me, Wayne actually came back and challenged me. He showed me that I was full of pride and that my confidence was in this project and not in God. He exhorted me like a good brother. As soon as he did that, the Spirit in side of me sort of rejoiced. I was filled with comfort from this truth, as I realized that it was truth. I had been blinded to my slow fade from dependence on God to dependence on the small boat project. God, through Wayne, showed me how wrong I was and how he wanted me to be faithful in my work no matter what and to simply trust Him with each thing. He would take care of my career path, help me to find interesting work, etc. That's how I used to approach work- way back when God first gave me this small boat opportunity. I didn't know that I was no longer trusting Him with it, but assuming things and trusting myself. But, Wayne helped me to see clearly that I was there deep in pride and not trusting God. Wayne also showed me that God was gracefully teaching me an important lesson. God still allowed me to keep my job- I was still employed, just not doing what I wanted to do.
I see now that I need to trust God with my future at work. I can see nothing in the future, but that doesn't mean I should be depressed- instead I should approach each day with an optimistic anticipation of what God has in store and what He will provide. He has allowed this seemingly great project to go away, and I must trust that this is for my good and for His glory. I praise God that He allowed me to be with Wayne last night and solve this issue in my heart, before it really got out of control. I feel like maybe God's timing with Wayne's computer issues in combination with the timing of this project cancellation were perfect and He provided perfectly for my spiritual needs through this.